Passion

Listening to the song “Closer” by Goapele reminds that what I am living for is not in vain. In previous blogs, I have expressed the frustration with my boss, my frustration with the educational system, with standardized testing and my frustration with America.

To some that may have sounded like bitching, complaining.. maybe whining. The economy is bad, I know! Some say "I should shut out my frustrations and be grateful to have a job". I feel like my passion has gotten construed with the frustrations. There are no "and/but's"...the truth is...it is much more than that. I have been frustrated beyond words for months because I love what I do for a living with my entire heart and soul.

Last night, at the Board of Education Meeting, I was reminded why I am so passionate about my life; my career-- education. We all have passions whether it be music, or poetry, or fashion, etc. Like many of us... the passion drives me and consumes me. It inspires me. It motivates me and it uplifts me. It also can anger the hell out of me! It is like a relationship- in that there are good and bad times. I can never see myself not being involved with education.

I went into education because I knew that I wanted to change the world, literally. I wanted to make a difference. I wanted to give to kids what my teachers had given to me- a love for learning. I have always known that it was in my fate to teach.

Last night, I heard presentors from the Elementary, Middle, and High School levels discussing the future of our kids. We all were there for the same reason- our passion. It didn't matter the curricula we were teaching, the age of our students, the building we taught in, our personal philosophies of education... we were there for the same unspoken reason. I was reminded that I love education because of everything it encompasses- good, bad, indifferent. It's more than [Get them here, Get them fed, Get them home]. Education is life long.

The growth from year to year in a child is amazing. The world is ever changing. The kids in it are ever changing. It is my resposibility to continue to learn these changes so that I can do what I was supposed to do in my life; teach. I hope this blog clears up any confusion... education is my heart, my life, my passion.

Proof Read This!!!!

Ok, I usually don't use my blogs to do this but I need to get somethings off of my mind & I hope the person reading this thinks about it in thiers...

I'm about as livid as I can be right now and for once it's not regarding education. I cannot stand it when somone takes advantage of another person's feelings. It's not real. It's not right. It's not a characteristic that I even want to be associated with...

I'm mad at myself! Mad at myself for trusting. Mad at myself for being nieve. Mad at myself for believing in another person. Mad at myself for caring-- for even thinking that there could be a friendship.

Friendship is a two way street, I admit, maybe I could've been a better friend. I know that I have things I need to work on... being loyal isn't one of them, being a decent person isn't one of them, playing on someone elses' emotions isn't one of them either.

Today-- You have won. You have the upperhand... You got me. Great job.

One Small Moment

It's 4:45pm on a Friday. My day has ended. The kids have all gone home. My classroom is completely quiet. It's my time. My time to relax. My time to enjoy some quality time with myself for two days before starting the maddness again on Monday. Every week, I vow it's going to be a great week. It will be the week that there will really be balance in my life, yet just thinking about next week brings on feelings of being overwhlemed and out of sync. Generally, I leave work feeling this way and discouraged quite often. I leave questioning, "Is this what I really want to spend my life doing?" It's funny how one small moment can make you remember what it is all about....

Just a little bit ago, I pulled out letters I'd sent to my kiddos' parents at the beginning of the school year inviting them to take a few moments to write me about their children, asking them to think about things that might be important for me to know as well as their hopes and expectations for the 2009 - 2010 school year. As I read, I was reminded that this year's kids are Miley Cyrus fans, animal lovers, gymnasts, creative artists, Bakugan-maniacs, football players and future geniuses. They are dubbed silly, shy, smart, mature, sensitive, playful and imaginative.

As I read these letters from the parents, I was struck by the love between the lines, the hopes & dreams that were in their words, and the faith/trust they have in me. No one wrote that they wanted their child to score high on the MAP test in two years or attain a DRA (Developmental Reading Assessment) reading level of 18 by the end of first grade, or even meet the state standards. It's not that they don't want those things for thier children, but the things they chose to write me about-- the things they considered most important for me to know were not about test scores, reading levels, or state standards. The content of these letters, the love in these letters, left me feeling a way that I had not felt in a long time.

Now, I'm sitting here my desk and rememebering that I really love being a teacher! I can't let myself get caught up in the incessant push for high test scores, the endless editorials about the fate of public schools, and the misguided politicians and their plans for reform. I can't let myself get caught in this frantic pace that knows no end or I will end up feeling overwhelmed and miserable for the remaining months of the school year. In all that is going on in education, I cannot let go of what I know is best for kids. My classroom still needs to be a joyful place where I can take the time and appreciate all of the wonderful things and love these little things about my kids that their parents wrote me about. It's amazing how one small moment changed my thinking.. I'm looking around my empty classrom right now and I feel excited for Monday and what next week will bring.

Todd Haley--You're Killin Me!

As a long time Chiefs fan, I am finally just fed-up. I think the coaching is truly pathetic! We have become even more predictable than ever before. I thought maybe that Coach Haley and his staff we're going to bring some "new" offensive and defensive schemes to this team. So far, I see nothing that would be even remotely close to anything other than what we've seen in previous seasons. LJ up the middle. LJ gets the ball for nothing. Repeat, repeat. Now we're faced with 3rd & long, leaving our "Mastermind A.K.A. Coach Haley" to call short routes. WTF????

It appears to me that Coach Haley may need to consider making some different decisions when it comes to play calling on both sides of the ball. For example, allow Cassel to make onfield audibles when need be!!! Win or lose it ultimately comes down to play calling not just execution.

Anyways, here's hoping that this year turns around for the better. I'm still a Kansas City Chiefs fan and always will be. Just stating, there are some obvious "issues" that we need to fix quickly. Here's to better games ahead. Go CHIEFS!!!!!

Whatever It Takes.

I’m a teacher. I’ve taught elementary school for five years. I’ve always told people, “I have the best job in the world.” I have always felt like I made a difference. Like, I could change the world. At the end of the day, I felt energized. Lately, more often than not, I feel demoralized....

This year our school found out that it did not make AYP (Annual Yearly Progress). Now the average person might hear this and say, “Oh, that school must have a bunch of stupid kids, or lazy teachers, or maybe they all just suck." But, the devil, as always, is in the details. Unfortunately, what looks good on paper, doesn't always translate to good practice, as is the case with No Child Left Behind (NCLB).

The fact is.. because of NCLB schools are losing many amazing teachers. I, myself, have never before felt the strains of NCLB as I do this year. NCLB requires states to set reading and math target scores progressively higher each year, with a goal of all students testing at grade level by 2014. Remember that year as is it key to NCLB. It is the year that every child will be achieving at 100% at or above grade level in reading and math. Ahhhh, the year when I can say my job is done and take a sabbatical leave from education. In reality, it will be the year the all schools will be failing.

This year, my school, fell short of NCLB goals causing us to receive the "needing improvement" label. This is a scary thing for educators as it means work harder, cram in more curricula, teach teach teach to the test or else you will possibly lose your job. You start to feel like your previous efforts were meaningless and you are a worthless excuse for a teacher. It is defeating. It is frustrating.

As an educator, I know these standardized tests are only one measure, one snapshot, of student achievement. Unfortunately, it the make-or-break assessment that determines our status with the Department of Education. They are the numbers that are published in the paper. They are the scores that home buyers look at when deciding if they should move into a neighborhood. They are the numbers that are pulled out and held over us, whenever administrators feel the need to put the blame on someone. They are what decides if a school is up to par or not.

As a teacher, I measure progress and achievement for my students on a daily basis. I set the bar high, expecting a lot. I don’t argue with the importance of assessment; it informs my instruction for each child. I don’t argue with the importance of accountability; I believe in it strongly--for myself and my students.

I have empathy for our administrators who have to stand up and be told that we are “needing improvement” in our schools. I have empathy for our administrators who have to turn around and drill it into us, telling us we must do things “this” way to get results. I feel for them. They are judged on the numbers, as well. I think about the stress they are going through. I think of this as daily, as I feel unsupported and unappreciated in my efforts in the classroom by my administrator.

My support comes from my coworkers; my peers. I say this proudly, I teach with phenomenal teachers. Everyday they hit the ground running. Everyday it's about what is best for students. Everyday it's the attitude of "What else can I do?" We promote high levels of learning because it is our job! The fear of NCLB has ruined a lot of wonderful things but it will not ruin me. I am a great teacher. I work with great teachers. We do "Whatever It Takes".

When I drive home demoralized after another meeting where our success is dissected with a machete knife, I remember different students I had in classroom over the years and where they are and how I attributed to that. I think about my efforts now and my efforts then.. I think about all of the celebrations with student's learning I've had... and somewhere I feel a little but energized again.

Monday Nights Are Back!!!

Once again, it appears it's going to be another great season of HEROES. After the two hour season premiere, I am excited to once again be dedicating my Monday nights to NBC instead of Monday Night Football, well of course unless my Chiefs are playing.

PETER PETRELLI is back!!! My all-time favorite hero is undoubtedly back in full throttle with his abilities. Soon, soon, soon my friends Sylar will have his back as well. *evil laugh. Ahhhh, the joys of Monday nights!

Tonight's episode started off with a group of carney's after a compass. It's apparent this compass is a big deal, hence: the slicing and dicing of people's stomach's to get to it! YIKES! Anyways, I am baffled as to why the compass is so important! If only I had watched HEROES with my fellow HEROES heads instead alone in my house.... some great theories could have been conjured.

I'll continue this week to think about the endless possibilites of the direction of this upcoming season. The previews looked phenomenal. HEROES looks like you're holding true to an excellent show. Yet another season, I'm hooked. Looking forward to next Monday... HEROES you complete me.

God Bless America

It seems dismally sad on our society that there is controversy over the President addressing school children regarding education (CSpan 11AM- 9/08/09). Since when has the President of the United States ever reached out to our youth to inspire them like Obama has? Why is it wrong for him - the PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES - to address the children of our country to encourage them to get a good education, study hard, make good choices?

Are we that afraid? Is this what you want to teach your children? Is there so little trust in teachers that it is felt they will not be able to discuss contrary ideas with their students?

I am a teacher and I believe in freedom of press, speech and ideas. Regardless, how you may feel about Obama-- He is our President. To think that this kind of criticism is given around Obama's message for students to reach inside themselves and contribute to bettering their schools and community is completely insane.

Respecting one's President and his dedication and commitment to education is NOT synonymous with agreeing with his policy agenda - I voted for the man, but I am not particularly thrilled with his educational policies, however I have a great respect for his own personal commitment to intellectual development and, as a teacher, I believe having that commitment communicated to students would be a helpful thing. This whole controversy seems like just another sad incident in ever growing anti-intellectual trend of our country.