A month of thanks: Day 4

Today & everyday, I am thankful for my son. On the worst of days, he can make me smile. His smile, his love for life, and his innocence is contagious. I am thankful for this true love that I've never felt. He is my heart, my everything. 

A month of thanks: Day 2 & Day 3

Day 2: I am thankful to be off work tomorrow and for the opportunity to create memories with my family.

Day 3: I am thankful for the Kansas City Royals. These boys in blue have stolen my heart! I've watched them for years but watching them battle through the playoffs & the World Series has been amazing. Today at their victory parade-- I totally teared up. I really love their spirit. I really love their grit and determination. Today, this team gave us a gift. For a moment, this community put aside their differences, their politics, their religion, their issues & they came together to celebrate this team that has inspired a sense of camaraderie and pride in this city. It is a beautiful thing. It makes my heart swell. 

A month of thanks: Day 1

November starts my month of thanksgiving. This year, I'm going to aim to acknowledge at least one thing/person I am thankful for each day. 

This is a journey to learning to be thankful for the smallest things and seeing God all around-- as I move through each day. 

Day 1: I'm thankful for my husband and the life we've built. His friendship. His loyalty. His ability to challenge me. He is my rock. 

10 months & 3 weeks

I didn't keep a pregnancy journal. A keepsake for my baby to one day read. I tried. I couldn't. Sure, I took monthly photos with intentions of creating this amazing pregnancy scrapbook but yea that never happened either. So, when my son was born I decided to take back up blogging. I promised myself that once a month I would write about my learnings as a new mother-- the successes, the failures. Today, I realized I forgot to blog about the happenings of 10 months with a baby.

10 months & 3 weeks ago, I should've been writing this blog. I should've written about surviving my baby's two bottom teeth coming in, surviving an ear infection, and surviving with no sleep.  Those were my 10 month triumphant moments that I somehow forgot to blog. The rest all seems to run together. I feel guilty that I can't remember what he did/learned almost a month ago because all I can think about is he much he's doing now. The time is all running together & I need to take better notes.

9 months & counting....

Last weekend, my little baby, turned 9 months old which equals out to 39 weeks of life. Crazy to think how long he was in utero & is how long I've been holding him in my arms. He's a growing boy... A whopping 22lbs. He is crawling everywhere, pulling up, walking around things like the couch while holding on, & crawling up the stairs. He's so brave & so independent. It scares me. It saddens me.

He loves games like peek-a-boo. He hides his sweet little face & pops up with a smile. He's the best. 

The only down side to 9 months is this first tooth waiting to pop through. It's like having a newborn again. Although I'm up every hour of the night... It feels good to hold my baby & console him-- rocking him back to sleep.

8 month post--- belated

I'm sorry my son. If you grow up & read your mom's blog.... you may be wondering why the 8 month update is almost 2 weeks late. Well, it's all life's fault. It's going by too quickly. It's kind of your fault too. You're keeping me busy. Supervision has gone to a whole new level-- gone away are the days that I lay you in the middle in the bed while I get ready for work in the mornings. You are in to everything! Crawling and pulling up. Picking up any and everything and putting it in your mouth. You are quite the  nosey thing-- we have started calling you curious Kade. Your personality is coming full circle. You are full of smiles and laughs. You grunt a lot to get our attention. You say mamamamamama and dadadada. It's pretty precious. You are close to getting teeth, which I hear is brutal on parents so I anticipate your 9 month update coming a little late as well. :)

Happy 8 months baby boy! These pics will give you a laugh & show you your silly personality.

Failure

This month I gave up nursing and pumping. It was the hardest thing I've ever done-- I cried. A lot. I never imagined when I first started breast feeding that I would ever fall so in love with it. So in love with that time with my son. It was so beautiful. So amazing. 

I only made it 7.5 months. I am mad at myself that I couldn't juggle more. I couldn't juggle nursing, being a full time mom, working full time, pumping at work, being a wife, being a friend... It was just too much. My baby has a cold & ear infection this week. I can't help but feel like a failure-- I've let him down. If I hadn't  quit, he would get antibodies & not be sick.

I'm feeling like a horrible mom. 

7 months

"Don't blink, you may just miss your baby growing...." these lyrics brought tears to my eyes the other morning as I thought about how much my baby has changed. It's been such a huge month for my little/big man. He is crawling. Trying to pull up. Sitting up. Rolling over. Babbling like crazy. Chewing on anything & everything. He's just such a cool kid. 

He's my baby but he's not my little baby that he was-- he just keeps growing into his own little person. So curious about the world around him, constantly taking every little thing in. He loves his mom. He loves his dad & he loves his sweet potato & sweet peas. 

Happy 7 months, Kade Thomas!! xxoo

6 months

In all of the holiday madness I almost forgot to post about Kade tuning 6 months old. (Bad mom, I know) 

This past month has been really neat. He continues to learn something every single day. We have started jokingly calling him "Curious Kade". He is rolling over stomach to back & back to stomach. He sits up if put in that position for a long time & when he's bored he will go over to his side & on to his belly. He laughs. Oh, he has the sweetest laugh. And he loves his bouncing swing in the door. He is really close to crawling. He gets up onto all fours and rocks. Sometimes he ends up in a downward dog postion--he just hasn't figured it all out together yet. We have started solids. He hates cereal. Loves green beans & sweet potatoes. More importantly, he loves the bath time afterwards.

He continues to teach me how to be a good mother, a good wife to my husband, a good daughter to my mother and how to appreciate other women in their roles as moms. I love this little baby of mine so much. Happy 6 months Kade!!

5 months

Here it is-- another month gone by. My baby is 5 months old. My baby is 5 months old. My baby is 5 months old. Saying it. Writing it. Reading it. Nothing makes it feel real. Time is flying before my eyes. I want to take him and stop time. I want to enjoy it even more. Maybe I am selfish but I don't want him to keep growing.

When I brought him home from the hospital it was world rocking. Admittedly, I prayed to the baby gods that he would mature a little bit. I mean, I was an exhausted first time mom. He nursed & nurses & nursed for what seemed like all day. When he wasn't nursing he was crying & after trying 20 different things he would just stop. This was an every 2 hour ordeal. It was maddening. Now he's 5 months old & I am praying to keep him a baby for just a little bit longer-- stretch out the days, the months... Come on baby gods work some magic for me again, pleaseeee.

As I'm writing this I can't believe it's even the same kid I prayed about months ago & how time can change so many things. This month my baby doesn't look like a newborn anymore-- he's just a baby now. A baby who is rolling over & almost ready to crawl. A baby who laughs when you make faces. A baby who sticks out his tongue & attempts to blow raspberries. A baby who grabs & picks up things with such ease. A baby who now sits in a high chair & eats cereal-- & then takes a bath & intentionally splashes his feet because it's funny. (His personality is really coming full circle.)

I can't make time stop. I can't put it in a bottle but it won't stop me from being wishful. Happy 5 months Kade!! 

4 months

Although I don't have much to compare it to-- this past month with my little man has been the best. I have seen him do so many new things. Watching him discover new things that we do so simply has been mind blowing. It's the best thing I've ever witnessed.

This month my little man has gotten really good with his hand eye coordination. He grabs things with such ease with his strong little grip. He examines them & of course tries to put them in his mouth. This includes grabbing his feet-- although he hasn't gotten them to his mouth (due to a big ole belly-- he weighs 15lbs!) it never stops him from trying. He also has started using his hands to rub his eyes when he is tired & pull out his grandma's hair any chance he gets.

He still smiles, coos, and now squeals all the time. He is really close to laughing. Right now when he thinks something is funny he smiles & buries his face. It is precious.

And the biggest news of all for this month is that he is rolling!! Watch out world, we have a mobile baby.

On to another month-- & Go Royals!

3 months

Three months. That's how old my son is, three months. I have to pinch myself & say this often as I am watching my son grow into his own little person everyday. 

He is full of smiles & coos, giggles & snuggles. He makes lots of sounds & faces. He smiles & lights up everytime I pick him up. It has become the highlight of my day. He is starting to roll. Unfortunately, he is still not sleeping through the night but I take that time when he wakes up to love on him. If I have to be tired the next day or the rest of my life, he's worth it. 

2 months

Every week, my baby gets older & I fall even more in love. In the past month, I have watched my baby grow in leaps a bounds. Not only has he started physically growing with the little rolls appearing all over his little body but he has started showing his little personality. 

In this past month, he has started giving back smiles to all of the singing, cooing, and standing on my head that I have been doing. Mornings are my favorite. It seems that's when he is the happiest. We do lots of playing & talking in the morning. He makes the long a, long i, and short a sounds-- I think every sound is him saying, "I love you, mommy". (Sorry, the teacher in me can't help but notice the sounds) 

He is becoming so aware of people and his surroundings. It's amazing to watch his little mind work. Sometimes, he will grab on to something & the look at like, "I didn't mean to grab it-- what do I do with it now?" That look gets me everytime. I can't wait to see how he continues to grow in the next few weeks. I will be sad when I have to go back to work--These weeks at home with him have been amazing.

Finding a balance

Pure admiration is the only way to describe how I view other moms who have it "together".  The ones who are taking their newborn babies on walks everyday, doing baby yoga, hanging out with their friends/family, and carrying on with their lives even with a new baby. These women are Gods--& I love (hate) them.

For the past 7 weeks, I feel that I eat, sleep, & live baby. Everyday is a juggling act of being mommy to my son, wife to my husband, homemaker, teacher, friend, & a "good" family member. (Throw work into this mix in a month) It seems impossible. I am failing--when I make one a priority another hinders. Feelings get hurt, people get upset. I look around and my house is a complete disaster. I look at myself & see a hot mess. Where is the harmony?

Kudos to all the Super-hero moms out there who have this figured out. Please give this mommy some tips.:)

One month

Everyone tells you that kids grow up too quickly-- but I've never fully understood this until having a child of my own. 

This first month has flown by & has definitely had some tough moments. In this past month I've learned to change diapers, I've accepted the fact that I will never be a breast feeding goddess, and I've been maddened by sleep deprivation. Admittedly, a baby is a lot of work & I thought it would be much easier.

Although it's had it's tough moments... it's been amazing to watch this little man start to become his own little person. He is already holding up his head, smiling (probably gas), and rolling to his side. I can't wait to see what next month brings for this little guy-- hopefully more sleep for his mom. :)

A new journey

Today my husband & I were driving to the grocery store.. Just the two of us. I was reminded how 3 weeks ago this was my life.  I don't know why but in this moment in the car I reflected how dramatically my life has changed in such a short time, how being a mother instantly changes everything... forever.

I don't think anyone or any book could ever truly prepare you for motherhood. (Believe me, I read every book, blog and forum out there.) It's just something that naturally happens. There's no words to describe the love, patience, frustration, fear, and excitement you feel when you are with your baby. Somehow you start juggling a million things & feelings-- functioning in a way you could never have thought possible prior to a baby. Today I looked at myself like, who is this amazing woman?

This is just the beginning of the journey of motherhood. It hasn't been easy but it has been the most rewarding thing I have ever experienced. Kade Thomas, you are the best thing that has ever happened to me. I love being your mommy.

Time flies..

They say time flies when you're having fun and fun I've been having. This school year is almost over and that makes me extremely sad.

Today, I was presented with an award from my superintendent. It's called the Traditions of Excellence award. It's a real honor to be nominated by your peers let alone win in total votes against the other nominees. As he gave me my award it was hard not to reflect on my experiences. I had to talk in front of everyone and I gave some real quick speal about how I was honored to have won the award.

Looking back you always think what you could've said-- I should've said how much I love my job.  That I love coming to a place where everyone eats, breathes, and sleeps education. I should've said that I work with some of the most phenomenal women that I ever met. That they all are constantly encouraging, inspiring, and motivating me as a professional. I should've said that it takes a village to raise a child and that they have taught me that they are not "my" kids that they are "our" kids.  I should've said that they all deserve to that award because I work with some of the most passionate educators. I should've said thank you for making me feel like family, like I am valued. Lastly, I should've told them that they are constantly making me better. Maybe I'll send out an email tomorrow. :)

This year, I had the opportunity to teach the same kiddos as last year, I moved to 2nd grade with them. It has been one of the best years in my career. I have worked harder and smarter than I ever have---This year has been full fun memories... can't believe it ends in 23 days.

Checking In

I haven't blogged in sometime but that doesn't mean that I haven't written. I have actually reverted back to journaling. There's just something that is so fulfilling about picking up that little black, leather bound journal on my nightstand a jotting down my thoughts for the day before bed.  Its amazing how quickly the pen moves across the paper and even more amazing how quickly the thoughts come to me... it's like having a conversation with myself. It's refreshing, it has been exactly what I have needed to get me through this crazy busy time in my life but in order for some of you (grandma*wink) to keep up with what's going on... here I am, "Checking In" on the blog. :)

WEDDING BUZZ - Three weeks until I am a married woman. As much as I complain about the work... I can't wait to marry the man of my dreams. I thank the moon and stars everyday for such a wonderful man. The wedding is going to be beautiful. I have spent so much time on DIY projects and made some absolutely beautiful decor, as well, as surprising myself by my craftiness. Everything is lined up. Now we are just on a countdown for the days.

WORK BUZZ- I looped with my kids and it was the best decision I have ever made... when they came into my first grade class last year, many of them were non-readers-- now, they can't keep their noses out of books! They know themselves and readers and are constantly teaching me about who I am as a reader and what I know about reading. Today was one of those days where I learned something. We are currently studying the genre of historical fiction. We have been reading many historical fiction books. Today when I challenged them to think about what historical fiction demands from us as a reader their responses were out of this world incredible. I could make a list of their awesomeness but that is besides the point-- I guess, today was just another day of truly loving my job.

HOUSE BUZZ- I hate being a homeowner. Ok, not really. Just when your basement floods, you have to get a pipe replaced, your yard is filled with leaves, and there's not enough the day to fix it all. That is all. :)

CHARLIE BUZZ - Well, Charlie is everything that Josie is not... he is the craziest cat I have ever met in my life! Everyone keeps saying that it is because he is still a kitten. I am not so sure. Truthfully, I think he is missing a brain or the one he has doesn't work. He keeps us on our toes and laughing for sure! I will try to get pictures up of him. He is getting big so fast! My nephew, CSB, was over for Halloween and he asked, "Aunt Sissy, Where is your little bitty baby cat?" I laughed and pointed to Charlie who has put on 6lbs since summer.

PROUD AUNT BUZZ - Speaking of CSB-- Did I mention he is reading wayyyy above grade level? Yes, I am a proud aunt and I brag any chance I get! :)

Well, that sums up my life in a nutshell-blog. I'll check back in soon. Mwahhhh.

Say It's NOT So!!

Today, I was at the place that I love/hate the most.... Walmart.  I was grabbing a few much needed items (which is why I was at Walmart on a Sunday with the local crazies) and then I saw it, what I was not ready to see... the back to school aisle!

Scissors, Markers, and Folders, Oh my!! *sobbing

This summer has went by extremely fast. I have spent the whole summer planning a wedding and working on the house that I have not taken any time for fun in the sun. I am as pale as a ghost. I feel like I have not taken the chance to truly be a bum.

This week, I am making it my number one priority to lay at the pool, be a bum and get some tan lines. The school year is almost here. Thank you WalMart for reminding me of that today! *Grrrrrr!!

Cabinet Upgrade.

Gracias, Danka, Thank you... pinterest for helping find this wonderful blog MonicaWantsItAll.  This wonderful blog post helped me transform my ugly honey oak cabinet in my bathroom to a beautiful rich espresso modern cabinet.  I am in love.