The past couple weeks have been tough. Real tough. I've been in a real funk. I've felt so lost. And yet, there's wasn't any explanation. Until, this morning, when it hit me like a brick. So many changes have happened since last summer and it has finally caught up with me. Today, I realized that I am having a mid-life crisis or something of that nature. My world is not my world anymore. The truth is, there's a stranger in my house and her name is ME.
The words to write haven't been there because I didn't know what was bothering me. Now I do--Who is the person that I have become? I say this, like a it's a bad thing. Truth is, from the looks of things. Things are dandy. But I feel so empty inside.
Since last summer, I have bought a house. Fixed the house. Paid off debt, Strengthened my relationship w/God. Committed to a relationship. And made a ballsy career moves. I am stable. I am secure. Life is grand.... Wait, but is it????
Truth-- I feel like I don't know myself anymore. Without me even realizing it--my world changed dramatically. I feel like I just woke up from a dream but this is my reality. These motions I go through every day don't feel like ME they feel like just that... motions. Everything is the same every stinkin day...Is this what 'growing up' feels like???
I blinked for a second and 12 months went by and now I'm a completely different person. A complete stranger. Is this the next chapter of my life? Because if so--we can skip it.
